A Personal Defense for POVERTY
In the last month, I’ve received more attention musically then I’ve ever had. Honestly, its not a whole lot of attention, but, again, its more than I’m used to. I think “press” might be a better word than “attention.” Its the kind of press that makes my heart drop at first. Its the kind of press that I constantly have to remind myself “Any press is good press, Tony. Don’t worry.” I sit here, at my desk, reading the articles and blogs I’ve found about my new EP ‘POVERTY’ and I feel really stuck. I begin to feel like I did a poor job trying to explain myself about the theme and purpose for this EP. And honestly, I never thought it would get some of the “attention” it has in the last month.
When I first sat down with the idea for this little EP, it was with the intention of getting some new songs into the hands of my fans. It wasn’t at all intended to stir anyone’s preverbal pots. I had grown tired of promising a full length record to people and having nothing to show for it, so I asked my friend Tim to record a handful of my songs for me. He graciously agreed, and the next day, I set to writing those songs. I had already written the last track (and title track) “Poverty.” A friend helped me name the song, and from that came the album name. “Hmm,” I thought, “What a beautiful theme. Poverty. Who are some key figures in history who stood up against poverty (besides the over-marketed, over-sold, and over-bought Jesus Christ, the ultimate image of love and compassion to the impoverished)? Some people that I have been inspired by are Mother Teresa, Gandhi, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr, and Rosa Parks. So I set out to write 3 other songs called “Mahatma Gandhi,” “Mother Teresa,” and “Dr. King” for the EP. The idea was to include the themes of their lives, what they stood for, and write a song about them.
The first two came to me in a total of 40 minutes. They were those miracle songs that songwriters talk about. They’re the songs that almost write themselves, as if they had been placed inside my heart from the beginning of my life and all I had to do was ask them to step forward. They were beautiful moments for me and its very difficult for me to try and explain exactly how it feels. But then, I tried to write “Dr. King” and it was as if the song just wasn’t ready to come out of my heart yet. I tried to force it out, trust me. But it ended up sounding like a pop hit from the 90’s (think ‘Backstreet Boys’ or something). Actually, I was baffled that I was able to come up with something so awful. Bottom line, the song was terrible. So I scratched it from this record.
I found the image I wanted to use for the album artwork, and found that it was public domain, though, before I had written any of the songs. And yes. That means that I found the image the day I thought of the EP idea. I really loved the image. I love the tiny, subtle smirk on Dr. King’s face as his mugshot was being taken. Its almost as if he knew what was to come and felt no fear. If you have read his letter from Birmingham Jail, or even if you haven’t, the image itself is so powerful. I felt like I needed to use it. But, again, I scratched the “Dr. King” song from the ‘POVERTY’ project. So naturally, there is room for confusion about the artwork.
My life has been an interesting one. In my teen years, I heavily involved myself in youth ministry at the church that my high school was a part of. It was the first place I ever experienced true community and camaraderie. I later moved on from that place and moved to Shoreline with a friend, after feeling pretty bitter towards my teen church experience. After a few months, through a series of very random circumstances, I moved back home, to Marysville, WA to be a part of a group of people who were living in a very intentional community. A community where anyone is welcome to come and hang out and share their stories and experiences. It was a community where the idea of God was held tighter than a vice grip, but wasn’t forced down anyone’s throats. The belief was lived, not preached. And it was exactly what I needed. I learned so very much from my time at the church of my teens and the community of my early 20’s. I learned about love, and what it really looks like. I learned about being hungry, physically and emotionally. I learned from other people about how important true, human relationships are to the health of another human being. I learned about poverty and loneliness (I would learn later that loneliness is itself a form of poverty). I met people who were raised in terrible homes and found solace with the Marysville community. It was a beautiful, beautiful time in my life.
I also listened to a lot of Derek Webb, a singer/songwriter from Nashville who sang about the things no one in the Western Christian Culture wanted deal with (from my perspective). I was so very much inspired and moved by Derek’s songs. His were songs that got him into trouble. In his songs, he would talk about how Christians would much rather sit in comfy church pews on Sunday mornings, listen to a sermon, and go home - instead of driving to the other end of town and feeding hungry people. He preached what Jesus Christ preached. Love, service, and compassion. He preached the fact that we’re all the same. No one person, homeless or filthy rich, is any better or worse than the other. He preached the truth about human relationships. It was his songs that first got me inspired to think, and try to live, in the way that I do, mindful of the universal human condition. His song, ‘Rich Young Ruler’ was also a huge inspiration for the EP.
I’m tired of seeing people treat others like they’re better than each other. I’m tired of seeing images of a world full of war and destruction towards fellow humans. I’m only 24 years old, and there is SO MUCH that I don’t know or understand, but I know that love is not a popular emotion for most people. And again, when I say “love” I really mean taking care of each other. Our fellow man. Whether or not I’m a Christian anymore, it doesn’t matter. To me, the lives of Jesus Christ, Mother Teresa, Mahatma Gandhi, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr, Rosa Parks, and so many others… to me, they set the example of the way life with each other ought to be lived.
So when the opportunity to release these songs came to me, I took it.
More than anything, ‘POVERTY’ is a cry out to people who will listen to see our fellow man as equals. To help each other. To take the time to just genuinely ask one another how we are doing, and not settle for a fake, shallow answer. The lives we lead are blessed ones, with many many joys, but also many many sadnesses. And the sad times shouldn’t be experienced alone - ever - because we all go through them. The Mother Teresa quote that inspired her song, rings true:
“We think sometimes that poverty is only being hungry, naked, and homeless. The poverty of being unwanted, unloved, and uncared for is the greatest poverty. We must start in our own homes to remedy this kind of poverty.”
After the EP was released, I had multiple conversations about the choice of artwork and song titles for the record. Many people were unsettled. And it came to a head when Mark Baumgarten, chief editor of City Arts Magazine, asked to interview me about the album. When I received his message, I was elated. You can ask my friend Kevin, I was with him when I got the message. I thought, “Wow! CITY ARTS wants to interview ME! They must think I’m on to something really great here!” I mean, I’ve read City Arts magazine for a long time now, so it was a huge excitement. I should say though, that it was my first legitimate interview with any well known and well read publication. I wanted to make sure that I had my shit together. But when the time came to sit down with him and answer his very poignant questions, I failed to properly organize and verbalize my thoughts. Little did I know that he would transcribe my thoughts word for word in the interview. And little did I know that the interview would actually be about the problem of artists using historic buzz words or images to prove their own points. After reading the article, I was, at first, devastated. It was about something completely different than I had thought. After a few hours of reading friends’ thoughts on the article (By the way, thank you for those, friends) I calmed down and realized that Mark actually wrote an amazing piece and had some very very kind things to say about me and the songs. I am more thankful now for the article than I was at first.
But then, on April 27th, another little blurb was posted on The Seattle Times website by Andrew Matson about the EP and the unsettling use of the cover image. I dug into it and found many responses on twitter and blogs. I even got an email from an older gentleman calling me a racist and how even “Bob Dylan had more tact.” I’m guessing he isn’t a fan of Dylan. People are wondering why this young white folk singer put an intense image of a very well known black man on his album cover. You’d think that they would then go and listen to the songs to get a better idea, right? But trust me, I’ve been paying attention to my song plays on bandcamp, and not too many people have bothered to listen to the songs, at least all the way through (Bandcamp shows the artist how many times people skip their songs).
So the problem remains: Did I not do a good enough job explaining my intentions? Even though I know that people can say and think whatever they want about anything they want, this is all an attempt to clear this up, or at least explain myself. But I realized that, in order to completely understand some of my songs, you really have to know me personally to a certain extent. And if you didn’t already know me, and my heart, or my story, you’re going to have a harder time understanding an album cover like that.
The album cover is a picture of a man who was punished for standing up against the poverty of segregation. Dr. King fought against the belief that one man is better or more entitled than another. He was a nuisance to so many because he dared to challenge the idea of human superiority. He was thrown in jail for it. He was murdered for it. He was a beautiful example of someone who stood for the universal truth: All life is sacred and worthy of love and respect. And that is why I put his picture on my album. And I still stand by it. I am proud to have it on the front of a three song EP that I wrote. Am I using it to prove my own points? Hell no. I’m using the image and the songs to discuss and put a spotlight on the points that these people stood for. Peace, love, and respect. I am trying to do them justice (a lofty goal for sure), but it doesn’t end with a three song EP. It can’t. This must be the purpose of my life. Our lives.
I will always be mindful of these themes. They have defined so much of me. Of course, I know that I fail at love. I fail everyday. I am not setting myself up as an example. I want people to see and remember the examples from history. And because of that ever burning desire, these types of songs will always come out of me, I’m sure of it. Whenever I write songs, I’ll always lean towards these themes.
I have been humbled by all of this and am thankful. I appreciate so many of your encouragements and thoughtful words. I am glad to have people around me that love me and show so much compassion and care for each other. Without you all, I’m sure the EP wouldn’t have come out the way it did. Thank you to all who have been a part of it. And I hope for those of you who weren’t a part of it (or aren’t yet), who might read this long blog post… I hope I made myself clear and I hope you have loving people in your own lives. If you don’t, go find some. It’s vital.
And thank you to all of you who took the time to read all of this.
Derek Webb performs “Rich Young Ruler” live
And listen to ‘POVERTY’ for free:
